Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why life doesn't suck and it does take a village to raise a child...

You always hear people say life sucks or being an adult sucks. I have probably said this more times than I am willing to admit. It doesn't though. Is it hard? Abso-freaking-lutely! It's never fair. The right way is always the hard way. You sit back and watch people who lie, cheat and steal thrive. Sometimes only for a slight moment and sometimes you sit back and wait for what seems like forever for karma to catch up. Life is stressful. You have bills to pay, mouths to feed, never ending messes, laundry and dishes to clean, tantrums to defuse, fights to break up, and the list could go on. Amidst all the chaos if you look really hard you can find the good stuff. Those little moments every parent cherishes when your child does something new and brilliant. When your 2 yr old out of nowhere says, "mommy, I love you." When that dramatic 1 yr old sees you and comes running with that adorable nose crinkling smile. When the kids finally fall asleep at night and you get that oh-so-needed quiet moment with the love of your life and best friend. It's in those moments you realize life really doesn't suck. People suck!

I always hated the expression it takes a village to raise a child. Mostly because when you get pregnant it apparently gives people the right to tell you exactly what they think you need to know. You get all kinds of unwanted and sometimes crazy advice. When you have a child you realize that for the most part you really don't need all that advice. You know what your baby needs. You find your own way to make things work out best for you. Every baby and every family is different. What worked for my mom may not work for me and my children. Even though my cousin's best friend's sister fed her baby a certain way that doesn't mean my kids need to be fed that way to grow up well adjusted.

You may not need all that advice, but you do need a village worth of support to raise a child. As much of a blessing children are they are that much work. It's harder than you ever imagine. You need a break occasionally. You need date nights with your husband. Once you've had kids and it's been a while since you had a night out. You realize how important this is. You start bickering with one another over the stupidest little things. It sucks. Especially when your 2 yr old has decided to not acknowledge bedtime no matter how many different things you try. Now I realize how important a village is in raising kids. We don't have a village where we live (half our village is in Texas). We do have an amazing sister-in-law here. I can't tell you how wonderful it is when we are stretched to our limit, we've tried every other option to get our much needed break with no luck, we call her and she rearranges her day on a moment's notice to give us that break. Just in the nick of time! Words can't express how truly grateful I am for those few hours alone with my husband. So, as it is with most things, I have realized, in the absence of a true working village, just how important it is. We need a fully functioning village and this my friends is how I came to the conclusion that it really isn't life that sucks, it's people (not all people of course)!


  1. Amen sister! I always hate when husbands ask their wives..."what have you done all day" Shad watches Bailee on Mondays while I work so I think because of it he's more understanding & realizes how hard raising kids & being a full time mom can be. There's never a break they will always need something or something always needs to be done.

    And I totally agree life just sucks I've talked about this with my hubby. I've decided its the little things that I try to do each week to keep me busy helps me not dwell on the hard stressful things. I have to have things to look forward to, it helps me get through the week.

  2. Matt stayed at home for a little while when it was just Phillip and he lived with his sister for a little while so he has seen first hand how crazy things get. He can't get out the phrase "what have you done all day" without laughing. :)